As I sit here in the quiet stillness of my house, I can almost imagine the sounds of heaven’s angels singing, the laughter and the joy that bubbles over when the soul can feel no sadness or regret and that pain and worries are an unknown entity. The sounds that even heaven can’t contain — for heaven has had a year now to rejoice that my momma joined in their choir.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
My momma was a Christian and she lived her life in a way that let you know she was a Christian — a life of example. She read her Bible, she prayed and she lived a moralistic life that reflected God’s light. She was not perfect but in her humanity she strived to please her God by living the way the Bible instructed. In her humanity, she made her fair share of mistakes but she knew in her heart that if she was faithful, she would have the reward of heaven. And so because she believed it so strongly, I can believe that for her.
In that one year since she’s been gone, there hasn’t been a day go by that I haven’t missed her. Time has inched by yet flown past as well. So many twists and turns in my life in just one revolution around the sun that I want to tell her about. So many missed opportunities to hear the wisdom she had from her life experiences. Three hundred and sixty-five days without Momma.
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.
But more than anything, I wish I could let her know just how grateful I am for her life of faith. The way she lived her life left an indelible mark on me and I don’t recall if I ever even told her that. Her belief in God was so strong and she never wavered in that belief . Yet faith is a belief of something unseeable, unspeakable and without evidence. But she was certain. I am so grateful to her for that because there are so many times when I struggle to have faith in things that are very tangible, let alone the unknown. Yet somehow I am still standing and that would not have been possible had there not been something much larger than me in control.
So as August 30, 2015 begins, I am reminded that one year ago today, my mother crossed over into her reward of heaven. You do not have to believe but my momma certainly did so I am going to close my eyes and embrace the stillness — knowing she at peace.