Jan 212012

Have you ever felt so down and depressed about the directions your life has been going and then stumble across a strange thing that renews your spirit?  Gives you a glimmer of hope?  Makes you believe that somehow you will survive a huge disappointment and give you promise for the future?

I realize I am a somewhat strange bird but I guess I look for a “sign” all around me that indicates things will somehow be okay.  Perhaps it’s just my interpretation.. even if it’s skewed or just falsely optimistic but whatever it is, it helps me get from what feels at times like one crisis to another.  I call it my method of self preservation.

I tend to feel things in technicolor.  That can be a good thing or a bad thing.  I feel highs really high.. and lows really drag me to a level that is sometimes very difficult to overcome.  I’ve not been in a good place lately but I haven’t wanted to feel down, I don’t particularly relish in feeling crappy.  I’d much rather feel optimistic about the future and happy in the present but it’s been a struggle.  I look for things to be happy about.. search for humor so I can smile and feel a moment’s joy.  It’s disappointing when that doesn’t last.

But there are times when a light bulb can just “go on” and a realization will hit and you can find a sense of promise in something that most people might overlook.  I am optimistic that today brings a bottle of hope that I can drink fully from it.  I have a glass ready and an eager attitude.  ♥