Sep 072011

Have you ever been around someone before and walked away thinking to yourself “Oh my goodness.. that person has ISSUES!”?

I saw somebody the other day and during the short time I spent with them, I wondered afterward how this person manages to plow themselves through life. They talked about themselves constantly, gasping for air in between sentences.. not even a remote chance for anyone else to get in a word edgewise. Then they got touchy-feely with my nose, making me wonder if they had a fetish or just a death wish. Can you say STRANGE??

So.. while I was trapped there, my brain is reeling. Do I need to pick up cat food? Do I need anything for dinner from the grocery store? What can I talk about on my next blog post? How do I solve the national budget crisis? How much longer until the Brad Paisley concert? (it’s only three days, mind you!) I really need to pee. Why does this person keep touching my nose??

All the while, I see their lips moving and I hear: “My back went out after reaching for a package of Oreos.” (blah blah blah) “My significant other is driving me crazy.” (blah blah blah) “I think my kid is doing drugs.” (blah blah blah) “I can’t believe the icemaker went out yesterday.” (blah blah blah) “I feel so old and fat today” (blah blah blah) “I can’t believe the dog urped on the carpet this morning.” (blah blah blah) And so on and so on. Really??

Finally, my nose quit bleeding and I stepped away from the mirror. I sure hope that doesn’t happen again any time soon.