Sep 162011

I woke up early yesterday morning and almost immediately had something on my mind that I wanted to blog about. I pulled myself out of bed and opened my laptop. It crackled, spit out a message at me that had faint sounds of evil laughter in the background followed by a very long pause of nothingness. My computer was DEAD. Of course, I went into panic mode wondering how I was going to survive without it. I had serious doubts that i’d even make it through the morning. I will admit I am a technology junkie and while I am six cousins twice removed away from being a geek, I literally wanted to cry thinking that i’d be cut off from the rest of the cyber world. Gone was the land of virtual shopping. Gone was that little black box in which my friends live. The place where Facebook resides and email exists had been eradicated in a single poof of fate. Ten minutes elapsed and I started hyperventilating.. wondering if I had gotten that special piece of spam that would have informed me that Ed McMahon wanted to give me a million dollars.  Yet another opportunity passed on to the one that had an operating computer!! I was doomed for sure.

My husband was still asleep and I fretted about how to handle it. Should I wake him? Should I suffer alone and try to keep the sounds of my cries muffled so as not to disturb him? Should I steal the neighbor’s Xanax from the mailbox? Should I call 911? After all, this was epic in my mind and certainly worthy of being called an emergency. I tried to make do. I got my tablet out and was pecking along with one finger, coping as best as possible. It finally became apparent that in no way would I ever be able to type out a blog post with one finger. No way would I ever be able to communicate in anything other than short, stilted sentences and one word responses. I would lose my card-carrying membership to the Webster’s Dictionary Glee Club. I’d be shunned by the Wordy Nerds Society.

I turned on the television.. thinking I would somehow pass the time until my husband woke up and I could convince him that he wanted to buy me a new computer. Nothing was on but early morning shows and the DVR list was empty. Of course that brought on the need to watch the Spanish channels at maximum volume.  No sense in not learning something new, right?  It never crossed my mind that the television at full volume might wake up my poor sleeping husband from his world of oblivion!  When I heard the crack of the door opening from the bedroom though, I immediately turned off the television and turned on the puppy dog eyes.  Surely he would appreciate how I let him sleep in?

Thankfully, he recognizes an emergency when he sees one. There are times it’s good to be married to a paramedic! He took a quick peek at my screen and resigned himself to the fact that he would indeed be purchasing me a new laptop today and started bargain searching on his fully functioning computer while I plucked away one finger at a time searching on my tablet for something that would appeal to my need for speed and his need for cheap. Trust me, there did not seem to be a meeting of the two universes but when we finally found a decent sale, I got dressed and was ready to head out the door. Of course, anything that is considered a “deal”, i’m always too late to take advantage of and all that was left was the super fast, super expensive laptops that sparkled under the fluorescent lights of HH Gregg, Best Buy, Staples and Office Depot. We came back home a few hours later empty handed and considered purchasing one from online.

It then hit me that it was nearly 4 o’clock on a Thursday and even if I placed an order immediately it wasn’t likely to be shipped until at least on Monday following. The hyperventilation and palpitations returned. I went for a walk and peeked inside my neighbor’s mailbox.. empty.


I picked up my tablet again, started searching even more fervently and happenstanced upon a DELL computer from Best Buy that had not been in the store we had went to. I checked the availability for the surrounding stores in my area and found there to be inventory at another location a bit further of a drive away. I called them to check availability and after 15 minutes of being on hold with the most annoying elevator music ever, someone finally came on the line. I gave her the SKU, she put me back on hold but meanwhile I was double checking my makeup, brushing my teeth again so I wouldn’t offend the girl on the other end of the phone and tapped my foot in anticipation and hope. When she finally came back on the line, she informed me that they did indeed have ONE in stock. That was all it took to ramp up my fear into overdrive. I gave the woman my name and asked her to put it at the customer service desk on hold for me. I was on my way but it would take me at least a half hour to get there.

The hubby wasn’t too happy about the price tag but for what it offered in comparison to the other computers, it wasn’t a bad deal. More than he wanted to spend but by this time I was ready to start selling body parts to make up the difference. He relented (thank you, Honey!) and I walked out of that Best Buy clutching my new computer with a death grip. I could breathe again. All would be right with the world again. Facebook would not go into the land of nowhere like MySpace and leave me behind, twittering (or tweeting) my thumbs. I had another link to the outside world.

And even though he muttered about it, I have no doubt the manticles knows that if he hadn’t ponied up to get me a new computer, he would have paid dearly for it. I would have not shut up about it nor would I have given him a moment’s peace with his own computer until I had my own. For his own sanity, he chose the lesser of the two evils. I guess that means it was a good deal for the both of us!

Now.. about that other blog post I had intended to write? It’s still rambling around in my head but it’s a heavy one. It will come later. For now, I need to check my Facebook status.. it’s been at least 15 minutes since somebody replied!!