Sep 232011
 

I know this blog is still a baby and I swear, I wanted it to be upbeat, funny and just downright endearing enough for folks to come back and read.. maybe even share with others.  I haven’t been feeling too funny of late though.  Life isn’t always kind, even if it results from us not being kind to ourselves.  Ain’t much funny about that.

I’m in a world of hurt.  I haven’t spoken of what’s ailing me and I haven’t wanted to speak of it.  I’ve only just scratched the surface of it with my therapist and I don’t keep secrets from her.  I’m just not sure i’m ready to deal with my pain but it’s there.  Bubbling.  Screeching.  Threatening the core of who I am and how I cope.  It feels tangible and much like the top of a pressure cooker.. sizzling away and allowing small amounts of pressure to be released but the threat of it blowing the top off is imminent.

I don’t know how to handle it yet and i’m still not ready to share but I just felt like I needed to stick a fork under the pressure regulator before I find myself plastered in little bitty pieces all over the wall.  Please be patient while I jiggle my safety valve.  And stay out of the way if you hear too much hissing and spitting.

 

  3 Responses to “Under Pressure”

  1. Haven, my friend. Like a festering boil, don’t squeeze too soon. It will just hurt and there will be no release of the pressure. If you need to talk, PM me and I’ll give you my phone number. Being older – not particularly wiser – I might have gone through your situation already. Love, Candy

  2. Love to you my friend! I get that feeling. It will come out when the time is right for you and you will persevere. It’s all a journey and everyone hits those milestones in their own time! ((HUGS))

  3. Big hugs and may you be able to continue to peel back the layers and get to the truth with therapy…….. be kind and gentle to yourself- take xtra special care- xo