I know this blog is still a baby and I swear, I wanted it to be upbeat, funny and just downright endearing enough for folks to come back and read.. maybe even share with others. I haven’t been feeling too funny of late though. Life isn’t always kind, even if it results from us not being kind to ourselves. Ain’t much funny about that.
I’m in a world of hurt. I haven’t spoken of what’s ailing me and I haven’t wanted to speak of it. I’ve only just scratched the surface of it with my therapist and I don’t keep secrets from her. I’m just not sure i’m ready to deal with my pain but it’s there. Bubbling. Screeching. Threatening the core of who I am and how I cope. It feels tangible and much like the top of a pressure cooker.. sizzling away and allowing small amounts of pressure to be released but the threat of it blowing the top off is imminent.
I don’t know how to handle it yet and i’m still not ready to share but I just felt like I needed to stick a fork under the pressure regulator before I find myself plastered in little bitty pieces all over the wall. Please be patient while I jiggle my safety valve. And stay out of the way if you hear too much hissing and spitting.