Please note that this entire post should be read with a drawl.. otherwise you miss the entire point.
Now unless you grew up below the Mason-Dixon Line, us Southern women may seem a bit mysterious. Our Mamas taught us to always be polite and if i’ve heard it once, i’ve heard it a million times: “If you can’t say nothing nice, child.. don’t say nothing at all”. In order to keep us from having our traps sewn shut, we had to learn a way to get around that. Otherwise, the stronger willed ones wouldn’t have even been able to brush their teeth! So.. we learned how to be genteel but with a twist. Of course, you’d never be the wiser if you weren’t a true Southerner. By sharing this, I may end up in the belly of an alligator down in the bayous but at least you’ll have a bit better understanding of how we tick.
Keep in mind, the majority of us truly don’t have a mean bone in our bodies <coy look> but there are times when our tempers might flare and we feel the need to strike out. Since we must always behave like a lady, we do it with class. Which means you may not even know you’ve been insulted because we say such nice things and do it with a smile. In fact, the story below is a perfect example. I’m only repeating it but it sure sounds like a repeat of true facts to me.
A woman from Alabama and a woman from New York were both sitting in the airport. They realized they were both going to be waiting for a while and struck up a conversation. They soon learned they had things in common: both women were married, both women had three children.
The woman from New York bragged, “When I gave birth to our first child, my husband bought me a new car.”
The woman from Alabama replied, “Oh, that’s so nice.”
The woman from New York continued: “When I gave birth to our second child, my husband bought us a new apartment overlooking the park.”
The woman from Alabama nodded her head and said, “Oh, that’s so nice.”
Seeing the interest the woman from Alabama was displaying, the New Yorker went on boasting: “When I gave birth to our third child, my husband bought me a new six carat diamond ring.”
Again, the woman from Alabama agreed: “Oh, that’s so nice!”
Finally, the woman from New York realized she had been monopolizing the conversation and asked the woman from Alabama: “Did your husband do anything for you?”
To which she replied, “Oh, yes! My husband sent me to Finishing School.”
Impressed, the woman from New York inquired “Oh? What did you learn?”
The genteel Southern lady smiled and said “Oh, yes. I learned how to say ‘Oh, that’s so nice’ instead of ‘Screw You’.”
Since this only begins to scratch the surface of a Southern woman, we should probably stop right here but I assure you, we’ll chat more later.